June 5th, 2007
Take a look at that: the lovely lady behind the A-Rod imbroglio
(Warning: The links contained in this post are most definitely not safe for work. Unless you work at home.)
It was only a matter of time: the Playboy photos of supposed A-Rod paramour/definite stripper have surfaced. (Link via Fleshbot via Deadspin via the New York Post.) One of the amusing aftershocks of this whole, um, affair has been the media’s tut-tutting at all the coverage; anyone who watched Sunday night’s national ESPN broadcast was treated to what seemed like hours of Joe Morgan telling Jon Miller that athletes just want — and deserve to — be left alone. The most unintentionally hilarious part of the discourse was when Morgan (whose knowledge of modern day celebrity culture is apparently on par with his understanding of baseball) explained that athletes just want to be left to do their jobs out of the glare of public scrutiny. Now it all makes so much sense.
June 3rd, 2007
All I want is to be next to you
Sadly, I’m not talking about a Police reunion show. (I saw the Synchronicty tour way back in ‘84. My dad fell asleep and I didn’t impress Suzanne Connors enough to get a kiss. It was still a great show.) I want to be next to all of you, and thankfully, I’ll be getting a chance in the coming weeks, with readings scheduled in New York, Boston, Cambridge, and Winchester. Check out the appearances page for all the down and dirty details; here’s you chance to get an honest-to-goodness signed copy of Feeding the Monster. And seriously, what could possibly be better beach reading during a summer like this? (If you can’t make it, you can still order the hardcover from Amazon for only $17.16 (cheap!), or, starting on Tuesday, the paperback from Amazon for only $10.20 (cheaper!). And, of course, free signed and personalized bookplates are still here for the asking. They’re really nice. Seriously: ask anyone you know who has one.)
June 3rd, 2007
When it rains, it pours…diarrhea
Yup - I’m still trying to recover from my move, but I’m glad yesterday’s game at least showed that I didn’t jinx the Sox with this post. (I know: as I write this it’s 4-0 Yankees in the top of the fifth. But let’s not forget about yesterday.)
A couple of comments, though, are in order. For anyone who didn’t actually see yesterday’s game, it’s hard to communicate how brutally inept the Yankees were in the seventh inning. Every team will have a couple of these innings, and when things are going along more or less as normal, that’s fine. But things are not going along more or less as normal…and it had to hurt for New York to throw away this game. Just for fun, let’s recap the mistakes, step by step. We’ll put the score in bold, followed by how many outs there should have been and how many runs should have scored in itals.
1. Joe Torre continues to ride his relievers harder than…well, this is a family blog, so let’s leave it at that. In any case, he leaves Scott Proctor in the game after Proctor gets three straight outs in the eighth. The chances of Scott Proctor getting through two consecutive innings unscathed is about equal to the chance of A-Rod and Jeter starting a men’s group together.
2. Bobby Abreu, taking a page from A-Rod’s “how to look manly on the field” manual, pulls up short on Ortiz’s imminently catchable ball to deep right. One out.
3. After an IBB to Manny, Proctor walks Youk on four pitches. This came as a surprise to absolutely no one…except, of course, for Joe Torre. Bases loaded, none out.
4. Robinson Cano flubs the throw to second on what should be a tailor made double-play ball from Mike Lowell. Cap’n Intangibles, intent on proving he’s a hero, forces a wild throw to first. Instead of bases loaded and one run in, there are two runs in, runners on second and third. Two runs, one out, no runs, three outs (if Abreu had caught Ortiz’s ball, and depending on what Manny had done); one run, two outs (if Cano had thrown on target), one run, one out (if Jeter had held on to the ball).
5. Tek gets and IBB, followed by another Cap’n I error on a WMP grounder. No runs, four outs or one run, three outs regardless of whether or not Cano had helped turn the DP earlier because of this ball’s DP potential.
6. Coco singles to shallow center on a ball that appeared as if it might be caught. With Jason “Speed Demon” Varitek hanging close to second, Melky Cabrera has a relatively easy force-out at third…except A-Rod seems to have noticed a hot blond over by first base and drifts over behind the mound, leaving no one to field a throw. In any case, Lowell scores, and Torre, who actually looked like he was falling asleep earlier in the afternoon, is revived from his siesta and pulls Proctor from the game. Three runs, one out, no runs, five outs or one run, four outs.
7. After a Julio sac fly, Dustin “I Will Cut You” Pedroia singles in WMP. Five runs, two out, no runs, six outs or one run, five outs
8. David Ortiz, long a black hole in the Sox’s lineup, grounds out to end the inning. Five runs, three out, no runs, seven outs or one run, six outs.
Phew. That’s a rough inning. My point, of course, isn’t to gloat; it’s to illustrate that when you’re in a shitstorm, everything smells crappy. The Sox have a long and not-so-glorious history of creating their own problems. That’s exactly what they haven’t been doing this year…and it’s exactly what the Yankees have been doing. It must feel veritably Sisyphusian over their in the Bronx. And with all that, really, who was surprised that Roger was scratched from his first start of the year?
