In an effort to keep my blood pressure down, I’ve held off on my usual Talmudic readings of everyone’s favorite sports columnist, Murray Chass. Thankfully, faithful reader Aaron Yeater wrote in to point out that in his column in Sunday’s Times, Chass, while discussing a possible Dontrelle Willis trade, manages to contradict himself four times in four sentences. To wit:

“[T]he Marlins may be ready to trade Willis. Or maybe the Marlins will hold on to Willis, a 25-year-old left-hander, to build his trade value back to where it had been. Whatever their reason, the Marlins are quietly trying to move him. Jeffrey Loria scoffed at the whispers.”

So…Florida might be trying to trade Willis, or maybe they aren’t, except they definitely are, although their owner said they’re not. As Yeater said, “I am no closer to understanding whether or under what circumstances the Marlins would trade Willis.”

This level of opacity should surprise no one. It also shouldn’t surprise me that the Times doesn’t even attempt to clean up his copy; I’ve theorized before that the paper’s editors are actually part of this very sadistic joke. It’s just kind of sad, is all.