Yes, it’s true: I wrote this month’s Men’s Vogue cover story on A-Rod, an assignment which prompts many questions. Such as:

Q: What’s Men Vogue?
A: It’s like GQ or Esquire, except not gay and not aimed at 17 year olds who crack up at boob jokes. (Truly - it’s surprisingly good. Just pretend the word “Vogue” isn’t in the title.)
Q: OK, so why Men’s Vogue?
A: Short answer: The missus works there. Longer answer: The missus works there and they asked me to do it.

Q: You got someone to marry you?
A: It baffles me too.

Q: What was A-Rod like?
A: I have no idea. I was supposed to spend a day with him at his swank pad in Miami but he backed out at the last minute.

Q: Why?
A: Again, sadly, I have no idea, although I suspect it had to do with my calling the Yankees and their realizing they didn’t want another A-Rod cover story before the season began.

Q: Will I learn anything I don’t already know?
A: I think so. You’ll definitely learn about my grand unified Freudian theory of the richest man in team sports.

Q: Anything else about baseball in the issue?
A: Well, there’s this rundown of his workout regimen, which, frankly, is not the kind of thing that I care all that much about, and this collection of quotes.

That’s all the questions from me. Feel free to pose more in the comments and I’ll answer them forthwith. And by forthwith, I do not mean “in another month or so.” Promise.